Pea germination

I have discovered a completely fool proof approach to pea germination:

1) Buy a large packet of pea seeds, make sure the packet is made of paper and unlined

2) Wait for torrential rain, take seed packet into the rain whilst wearing waterproof coat

3) Open seeds and spend some time poking muddy fingers into the packet in a vague attempt to extract single seeds to sow

4) Roll up remaining seeds in packet and place into pocket of now very wet coat

5) Hang coat in a nice warm place to dry

6) Leave coat in nice warm place for up to 1 week

7) Plunge hand into pocket to discover hundreds of germinated seeds

Voila!